☕️Emoted or Demoted

Good morning.

JP Morgan chief Jamie Dimon told Bloomberg that his emotions were running a little high when he took a salty crack at workers wanting to wfh in a February town hall.

“I emoted a little bit,” Dimon said of his comments in response to a petition signed by 1,000 workers to keep its hybrid wfh policy. “I don’t care how many people sign that f*****g petition” Dimon had said. “Don’t give me the sh*t that ‘work from home Friday’ works.”

“I completely applaud your right to not want to go to the office every day,” Dimon added on Thursday, “But you’re not going to tell JPMorgan what to do”… Just in case anyone thought they could influence the biggest bank in the world’s biggest economy.

🏆 LOI Subscriber #TBD

Market movers

GrainCorp shares surged Thursday after a strong half-year profit, upgraded full-year guidance and an expanded buyback pushed investor confidence higher.

The quick sync

• Helen Toner, who once helped oust Sam Altman, suggests OpenAI’s so-called restructure might be more spin than substance. (Capital Brief)

• With inflation near target and Trump’s tariffs less disruptive than expected, the RBA is poised to cut rates—validating Bullock’s cautious approach. (Capital Brief)

• As Ian Neil writes, hybrid work is now embedded in Australia’s workforce, with law, policy and public sentiment firmly behind flexibility. (Capital Brief)

• LaunchVic chair Leigh Jasper and former premier-turned-tech investor Campbell Newman say Labor’s tax on unrealised super gains will choke VC and wreck start-up investment. (AFR)

Trading floor

M&A

• IAG buys Royal Automobile Club of Western Australia insurance in $1.35b deal to grow earnings and market reach. (Capital Brief)

• Phocas Software failed to get binding bids from US private equity giants and is now targeting Australian buyers for a $500m deal. (AFR)

• ACCC clears Cleanaway’s $110m Citywide deal, finds no major competition concerns. (Capital Brief)

• Barrenjoey is selling Perpetual’s wealth management unit, with TA Associates and Oaktree leading interest. (The Australian)

• US firm Responsive acquires Queensland’s Bidhive to expand in Asia-Pacific procurement software. (Smart Company)

• Helloworld’s Andrew Burnes, after buying a big Webjet stake, proposed a merger just as BGH Capital’s Ben Gray and Gary Weiss made a takeover bid for Webjet. (AFR)

• GPT and QuadReal form $1b logistics JV to expand Australian investments. (Capital Brief)

• OMERS is poised to sell a $2b Transgrid stake to the Future Fund, with other shareholders able to match the price. (The Australian)

• A broker is lining up buyers for COG’s 20% stake in Centrepoint Alliance as small-cap financial services firms like Centrepoint, Count, and COG hint at industry consolidation. (AFR)

• Dick’s Sporting Goods’ US$2.4b takeover of struggling Foot Locker signals an ambitious global push despite mall decline, tariff risks and investor doubt. (CNN)

Capital Markets

• The Future Fund is reducing US exposure due to shifting global dynamics and Trump-era currency concerns, redirecting investment to Europe, Japan and Australia. (The Australian)

• Lendlease plans a UK JV to free capital and cut funding as it exits global construction. (Capital Brief)

• Aspen Group launches $70m placement plus $4m share purchase plan to cut debt. (AFR)

• Xero's profit and revenue soar on strong subscription growth. (Capital Brief)

• SurfStitch’s website has been down for over a week, sparking concerns the brand might be closing. (Smart Company)

• Spotify’s Australian ad revenue hits $49m, growing 9% amid podcast market push. (Capital Brief)

• Humans of Purpose seeks $2m from impact investors to train domestic violence survivors in digital skills. (AFR)

• Materials sector dips as iron ore and gold prices fall amid eased US-China trade tensions. (Capital Brief) (Bloomberg)

• Ampyr is searching for investors for its 400MW Wellington battery in NSW, following its purchase of Shell’s stake, with help from Azure Partners. (AFR)

• Coinbase suffered a cyber theft where hackers bribed staff to steal some customer data and demanded a $20m ransom, just before its S&P 500 debut. (Capital Brief)

• Despite a friendlier crypto climate, the SEC is still investigating Coinbase over past claims about its user base. (NYT)

• Rinehart-backed Lakes Blue Energy seeks $10m to lift its ASX suspension. (AFR)

• Damien Gance, son of Chemist Warehouse co-founder, has sold $380m of his shares in Sigma Healthcare, part of a broader $800m sell-down since Chemist Warehouse’s ASX debut. (AFR)

• IPO hopefuls including Autodoc, Brainlab and Novo Banco are lining up listings on European exchanges, as easing volatility opens a window for pre-summer debuts. (Bloomberg)

VC

• Diraq expands to Chicago’s quantum hub with US government contracts, advancing scalable silicon-based quantum processors. (Startup Daily)

People moves

• Treasury Wine names Sam Fischer CEO as Tim Ford steps down. (Capital Brief)

• Quinbrook Infrastructure Partners hired QIC veteran Ryan Gordon as its new APAC capital formation head, replacing Rob Kerr. (Capital Brief)

• KKR hired Daniel Kearns, a former Blackstone managing director and top dealmaker, to boost its local team. (AFR)

• Ray Kuka replaces Anthony De Ceglie as Seven’s news chief. (Capital Brief)

• Capricorn Metals CEO Paul Criddle resigned after aggravated assault charges against him were dismissed; the company’s executive chairman has taken over CEO duties. (Capital Brief)

• Anthony De Ceglie, Seven West Media’s news boss, will become CEO of the NRL’s Perth Bears, marking rugby league’s expansion into WA. (AFR)

The watercooler